Since the premiere of "Devious Maids," Carmen has been nothing but ambitious. She has been willing to do absolutely anything to make it as a singer. But little was known of who she was before she became this driven person. A layer was peeled back this week when it was revealed that she was married.
When her husband, Oscar, forbade her from pursuing her music career, Carmen ran away to Beverly Hills. This week, Oscar managed to track her down. He intended to bring her back to Miami, but Carmen didn't want to go. Oscar tried to convince her that he would be a better husband, a different husband. Those quickly turned out to be empty promises.
When she refused to go, Oscar became violent, throwing Carmen around in his attempts to force her outside with him. Sam ran to her aid, but he proved ineffectual -- Oscar tossed him aside. Showing the depths of his terrible character, he even tossed Odessa aside when she tried to aid Carmen. But Odessa wasn't so easily disposed.
Oscar started strangling Carmen. It may have been lights out for her, but instead it was lights out for Oscar when Odessa clubbed him with her artificial leg. The two women had been at each other's throats for weeks, but in that moment they learned they perhaps had more in common than they realized, which was something Zap2It liked seeing. Perhaps that is even a part of why they clashed so much.
Sure, the fight scene was ridiculous and over-the-top, but TV Fanatic absolutely loved it. This is a televnovela, after all, they pointed out. It's not about realism.
The crazy dramatics continue on "Devious Maids," Sundays at 10 p.m. ET on Lifetime.
TV Replay scours the vast television landscape to find the most interesting, amusing, and, on a good day, amazing moments, and delivers them right to your browser.
Business was tough for Kody and his wives on the season premiere of "Sister Wives." The group was still trying to launch their jewelry business, SisterWife's Closet, but online sales just weren't cutting it. So the family decided to set up a booth at a women's expo in Robyn's hometown of St. George, Utah.
Unfortunately, St. George is also home to Warren Jeffs' controversial FLDS (Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) community. Polygamy is strongly frowned upon in that area. As such, the wives were basically shunned at the Expo.
Susan, a woman at the Expo, summed up her feelings quite succinctly. "I have no respect for them whatsoever," she said of the Browns. "Polygamy is not a religion. It is a domineering, creepy way for old men to marry young women.”
The disapproving environment meant disastrous sales. The Browns needed to sell 120 pieces of jewelry just to break even. They sold 19.
“While the polygamy lifestyle is clearly not for everyone, it's still hard to watch the sister wives — especially Robyn — fail so miserably after all the time and energy they put into the project," wrote Hollywood Life. Zap2It wasn't sure that was the only problem, though. They wondered if the jewelry was too expensive. They thought the Browns might need to reevaluate their business altogether.
The Browns are members of the Apostolic United Brethren Church. While The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has officially rejected polygamy, the Brown family openly continues with the practice.
See what their next move is on "Sister Wives," Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on TLC.
TV Replay scours the vast television landscape to find the most interesting, amusing, and, on a good day, amazing moments, and delivers them right to your browser.
Twins "Tia & Tamera" Mowry are no longer the teens that America fell in love with. At 35-years-old, they are full-grown women now. But that doesn't mean Tia felt ready for someone to go calling her "Ma'am."
She didn't like it one bit when a frozen yogurt shop employee called her "Ma'am," and so she decided to do something about it. She didn't lash out at the employee, though. Instead, she organized a performance at a burlesque club -- because that would prove she's no "Ma'am" ... I guess?
It was certainly a big surprise for her husband, Cory. "My wife wants to be a stripper now," he marveled. "Aw, hell!”
She gave him her best moves, shocking and impressing him at the same time. While he never saw this development coming, he had to admit that his wife did a good job After that sexy performance, Tia said she doesn't think she'll ever get "Ma'am"-ed again. Did she at least invite the froyo employee?
Tia feels sexier than she ever has at 35, she told Babble. "For some apparent reason I feel so much sexier now," she said. "I don't know, just becoming a mom I feel I've embraced my womanly curves, my ‘womaniss' if that's a word. I'm so proud to be a woman and I feel we are such strong human beings and I feel powerful and sexy. So I definitely think my style has become sexier.”
Watch Tia embrace her 'womaniss' every week on "Tia & Tamera," Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on Style.
TV Replay scours the vast television landscape to find the most interesting, amusing, and, on a good day, amazing moments, and delivers them right to your browser.
While it's unlikely they were able to watch the first season of "Breaking Amish," five new Amish and Mennonite young adults were nevertheless inspired by the original cast, and decided they were ready to break away from their sheltered communities. This time, they're headed to the West Coast with the premiere of "Breaking Amish: LA."
The big move came just in time for one of the five, as 21-year-old Lizzie revealed a secret that would have gotten her shunned from her community anyway.
“No one knows that I'm pregnant," Lizzie admitted. "Thank God the Amish traditional dresses are so modest and loose-fitting. That's how I've been able to hide my belly.”
To make matters even more scandalous, Lizzie is pregnant out of wedlock -- and the father of the baby may not even be Amish.
Lizzie isn't the only one harboring a secret, either, though Matthew wasn't ready to admit to his. All he would say was that he "did something bad," which had The Huffington Post anxious to know what he did. "What could Matt's dark secret be? We're so curious to find out," they wrote. "'Doing ‘something bad' could mean any number of things, especially when you're from a very sheltered community of people.”
See how the West Coast changes the new cast of "Breaking Amish: LA," Sundays at 10 p.m. ET on TLC.
SAN DIEGO — "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" has plenty to be thankful for: The naughty FX comedy is going into its ninth season, helping to launch a new spin-off channel and was greeted by more than 5,000 fans at the show's Comic-Con panel Sunday in Hall H at the San Diego Convention Center.
"Always Sunny" cast members Rob McElhenney, Glenn Howerton, Charlie Day, Kaitlin Olson and Danny DeVito were on hand to answer fans' questions after screening the first episode of the new season, which is debuting on the FX spin-off network FXX in September.
Howerton said the new season will include episodes featuring Thanksgiving, "Lethal Weapon 6," a flu epidemic and an installment written by "Game of Thrones" co-creators David Benioff and D.B. Weiss titled "Flowers for Charlie."
"It's kind of like `Limitless,' where I'm taking a pill to be more smarter," said Day, who plays the goofball character.
One thing fans won't see is the dysfunctional gang from Paddy's Pub going on "Family Feud." McElhenney said the network vetoed an episode written for the upcoming season featuring the character going on the game show. He said "Family Feud" was on board with the idea, but it didn't come together.
Follow AP Entertainment Writer Derrik J. Lang on Twitter at . http://www.twitter.com/derrikjlang
SAN DIEGO — There's no peace for Mystic Falls.
The cast and crew of "The Vampire Diaries" gave shrieking Comic-Con fans a taste of what's to come in the fifth season during the CW supernatural series' presentation Saturday at the pop-culture convention. In footage shown before the panel, mind-bending baddie Silas addressed a group of Mystic Falls townsfolk while appearing as Paul Wesley's Stefan. He not-so-discreetly informed the crowd that he wants to control them.
"Vampire Diaries" executive producers Julie Plec and Caroline Dries said the new season will also deal with the ramifications of Nina Dobrev's Elena choosing romance with Ian Somerhalder's Damon over Stefan, as well as Katherine, the ancient vampire character played by Dobrev, involuntarily becoming human.
"It is Mystic Falls and essentially you can't be that happy for that long, so there's always got to be that drama," said Somerhalder.
The new season will also see some characters going off to college.
"Why are we pursuing higher education?" joked Wesley. "We're all murderers."
"Vampire Diaries" stars Dobrev, Somerhalder and Wesley were joined on the panel by co-stars Kat Graham and Candice Accola.
"The Vampire Diaries" returns Oct. 10.
AP Entertainment Writer Derrik J. Lang is tweeting from Comic-Con at http://www.twitter.com/derrikjlang
SAN DIEGO — Joss Whedon is the busiest man at Comic-Con.
The multihyphenate visionary talked television on Friday, film on Saturday and rounded out the four-day geek extravaganza meeting with fans and talking with reporters Sunday at the Dark Horse Comics booth about a new season of his Buffy the Vampire Slayer comic book series, the possibility of a "Serenity" title, and the dual realities of the Marvel film and television worlds.
After saying he can't give too many details about what's going on in all those projects, Whedon did give The Associated Press some insight in a quick interview as Comic-Con swirled around him and fans snapped his picture from afar.
AP: What can you tell us about the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" story?
Whedon: I can't say much about what's going to happen. We're wrapping up Season 9 of "Buffy" and "Angel & Faith," and we've already sort of got a road map for Season 10, which I'm really excited about. Every season we get to come in and find and see a new aspect of what it's like for her and what it's like for anyone that's around her age that's going through life trying to figure it out. She's in her 20s, so she's trying to figure out what the hell she is. We've asked a lot of questions over the last two seasons. Season 10 I'm excited about because it has some very interesting answers for some of them. I can't really say. There's going to be a lot of back and forth between the comics – not so much that if you only like one you won't get what's going on, because I hate that. But they do share a universe, all these characters, and their ability to sort of show up in each other's books is part of the huge fun. And the fact that Giles is now a young boy just makes me laugh and laugh.
AP: You have so much going on in film and TV, you could easily leave the comic books behind. Why do you keep doing them?
Whedon: Dark Horse came to me many years ago and said, "How do you feel about doing new stories with Buffy," and the show had been over for two or three years, and I realized I really really wanted to. Just writing those voices again, remembering that mission statement of let's tell the story of this girl and the trials of having power and trying to keep her friends together. It moves me. I love this medium. I've read comics my whole life. The idea that we got to create our own little comic book universe, it's very heady. I'm very grateful.
AP: Do you have plans to bring "Serenity" out as a comic book?
Whedon: That's the hope, but there's nothing official yet. It's patchy. "Buffy," the way it lent itself to a musical, lends itself to comic books in a very simple way. "Serenity," you've got to have the exact right sort of notion before I'll even let it go forward. Because it was taken away so fast, I was always leery of getting it wrong.
AP: You could revisit the war, take the characters into the future ...
Whedon: There's a lot you can do. I'm a little busy. I have some other stuff to do. But I have some ideas.
AP: Can the new "Marvel's Agents of SHIELD" television series thrive without the presence of already-known superheros from the Marvel universe?
Whedon: The thing is SHIELD itself is kind of an espionage book. They're all basically spies. Just the idea of these people's lives was fascinating in all its aspects, so if it was a situation where we had to have a superhero of the week, I would never have done the show. That would get old super fast. It's part of the Marvel collective, but there's also a lot more: The idea of dealing with not just the new technology, the alien stuff, and just regular people who are caught up in the wake of this world; the idea that "The Avengers" changed the game for the Marvel cinematic universe, which SHIELD is now a part of. The whole world suddenly found out there were superheros and aliens and all kinds of wonderful, terrible things, and that's going to have different repercussions for everybody. So there's a lot of different ways to approach every episode."
AP: Samuel L. Jackson told us yesterday he can't believe he's not involved in the new TV series as "SHIELD" Director Nick Fury. Do you see a role for him in the show?
Whedon: We would love to have Sam in the house. If we could work it out, we'd do it in a heartbeat. He's Sam. What are we, new? But we also have the movies and we have TV and we need to make sure there's some crossover, but not so much that people go, "Well, I don't need to see that movie. I saw it on TV." If we do that (Marvel Studios President) Kevin Feige is going to come after me with a pitchfork.
AP: You brought Agent Coulson back to life for the TV series after his apparent death in "The Avengers." Is it possible he'll return for the film's sequel as well?
Whedon: He could. Right now it's not something I'm pursuing because I have so much going on in "Avengers" 2. Finding out that Coulson is alive would be an entire B story. And I already have too much movie. That's better than the other thing.
Follow AP Music Writer Chris Talbott at . http://twitter.com/Chris_Talbott
You know how Brody Jenner hasn't been a very big part of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" before this season? According to the latest episode, he might be trying to tell us that the one to blame for his absence is none other than the family matriarch, Kris Jenner.
When the entire Jenner-Kardashian crew was invited on an all-expenses-paid trip to Greece, Kris didn't bother to tell Brody. When he found about it, he was understandably mad. So he came along on the trip anyway, and confronted Kris about it.
Kris immediately went on the defensive, blaming technology. "You never return my texts," she said. She went on to say that she texts and calls him, but he never responds.
“You must have the wrong number or the wrong e-mail," Brody replied. "I gotta give you my right info then ... I wouldn't blatantly ignore you.”
Hollywood Life thought the whole thing was "awkward," with more clearly being left unsaid on both sides.
The Stir seems to think Brody's issues are actually more with his dad than with Kris. "I think Kris is partly right that it's some of Bruce's issues with Brody that are being shifted to her," they wrote. "But I think there are some that are theirs alone. It's clear Brody doesn't like her and her controlling ways, and Kris can barely look at him.”
The contentious relationship will continue to be a part of the new season of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians," Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on E!
Note: Do not read on if you have not yet seen Season 6, Episode 6 of HBO's "True Blood," "Don't You Feel Me?"
Let that light shine! I've mentioned missing more vampire action, Lafayette scenes, and Sookie choosing between good and evil. I got what I asked for tonight. I also mentioned that I wished Terry was dead, and now, well, I feel a little sorry about that.
First things first, Terry and Sam. Terry goes to Lafayette's house to give him a safe deposit key in preparation for his assisted suicide. Lafayette's so worn out from being possessed and calls Arlene to let her know that something's up with him. Who said potheads weren't responsible citizens? Holly and Arlene conspire to glamour Terry to make him forget that he wanted to kill himself, but they didn't know they had to glamour the sniper. Just when things start going well in Arlene's world, Terry goes down and things get sort of sad.
Also sad, for Sam lovers, is the fact that Alcide has pretty much banished him. Nicole, the VUS girl, talks Sam into giving Emma back to her grandmother, which he reluctantly does. Aside from not letting the kid eat Funyuns, it seems like a good idea. So now Emma's with the pack, J.D. is proud of Alcide, and Sam's on the lam.
But we have more interesting things going on. While Lafayette was still possessed, Bill and Ben both feel that Sookie's in danger. Ben makes it to her first and sucks the ghost out of Lafayette, who heads home to smoke and relax (and inadvertently ruin Arlene's life). Sookie and Ben escape to fairy land together to hide out from Bill, or Lilith, or vampire vibes in general. They have a heart to heart while she ties him up to protect herself from his dark, Warlow, side. Then, she admits that she's a full-grown woman with feelings for the fairy. They feed off of each other and she might just be willing to go vamp to get away from it all. To be continued.
Bill has a bright idea to get the scientist to draw enough blood to make him loopy enough to meet with Lilith again. She gives him a talking to, banishing him from coming to her with his questions. She's not going to micro-manage the salvation of all vampires.
When he's brought back to reality in the lab, he locks up the doctor and drinks Andy's fairy daughter blood. Now, he can actually go out in broad daylight. He goes straight to the governor's mansion, interrupts bible study, and tears the governor's head off. Literally.
Then, there are the camps. I thought we were going to have to watch an Eric-Pam showdown, but those crazy kids combine forces to kill a guard and scare Newlin and the governor (pre-beheading). They lock Eric up and take Pam back to her therapist. I was wondering where Nora was all this time. The governor injects her with a virus they're working on. He calls it, tastelessly, Hepatitis V and Eric has to watch her deteriorate. Just before it gets bad, he summons Willa, who's getting all "Orange Is The New Black" with Tara in gen-pop. Tara coaches her into glamouring a guard, sneaking into Eric's holding room, and busting both him and Nora out. As they make their way to a prison break, Eric busts into a backroom. Remember that Tru-Blood deal the governor made in the premiere? They're lacing that stuff with the vampire-killing virus. Eric's head is spinning, Nora is about to die, and they still have to find Jess and Tara and wreak havoc on these crazy bigots ...
... Which means they're going to run into Jason, who's managed to get himself recruited into the LAVTF and is inside the camp. Sarah Newlin isn't happy about it, but he vows to blackmail her with their affair if she tries to kick him out. In return, she attempts to make him squirm by throwing Jess into the pen for a "copulation study." It's pretty ridiculous. Luckily, Jason thrives on ridiculous and keeps a straight face. He looks more determined than ever to break Jess out. Now that the governor is dead, that leaves Ms. Newlin in charge, and she's just a boatload crazy. I would love to watch Eric turn her, too.
It's all a little much, right? Well, butch up, and save me some chicken. It's only going to get crazier. Predictions? Complaints? Let's dish.
"True Blood" airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on HBO.
Note: Do not read on if you have not yet seen Season 2, Episode 2 of HBO's "The Newsroom," titled "The Genoa Tip."
Things that are right with "The Genoa Tip":
The Genoa tip itself.
Even though we know it's all going to fall apart, the story of the supposed American war crime in Pakistan continues to intrigue. We get to see the continuing rehabilitation of MacKenzie's character as, instead of being a kooky disaster zone, she displays the kind of sensible news chops one might see in a tough, experienced journalist. The plot seems mostly cribbed from an infamous CNN scandal from the '90s, but that's OK; it remains the most interesting portrait of actual newsgathering in the show thus far, and it's somewhat encouraging that it is the framing around which the entire season appears to be based.
Things that are wrong:
Basically everything else.
The rest of "The Genoa Tip" is "The Newsroom" at its mawkish, self-aggrandizing, insular, tone-deaf, sexist worst. Whereas the Genoa plot shows these people as real journalists trying to navigate their way through a potential minefield, elsewhere we see Journalists As Saints, the greatest people in all of human existence. What's more, everything -- every event, every crisis -- is, above all, about them: Will's 9/11 speech is nothing less than a comfort to the entire country -- never mind how many people were or weren't watching at the time; the execution of Troy Davis is really about Don's emotional pain, not a miscarriage of justice; Neal's arrest at an Occupy Wall Street march is mostly an opportunity for Will to work through his issues.
And poor Alison Pill. Maggie gets worse with each episode. The less said about her ill-fated attempt to delete the video of her bus rant, the better (though it's good to see Aaron Sorkin's distrust of women and the Internet coalesce in one stupendously condescending scene). Let's just focus on her equally doomed Africa trip. She can't figure out why the continent of Africa could be important as a story until she asks a man to help her, and then everything falls into place!
I am grateful, though, because Maggie provides the episode with its most wonderful laugh-out-loud moment. It comes just as Lisa is bawling Maggie out over the YouTube video and saying they're not friends anymore, and Maggie looks all distressed and then the camera pans down to a book about Africa, like, "I'm so distressed, but hopefully this will help people remember that I'm escaping to this random continent I couldn't find anything interesting to say about until some guy showed me the way!" I am dreading the inevitable "Maggie shows her skills in interviews with warlords/something horrible happens to Maggie/she cuts her hair" sequences that are surely coming.
As for Jim, marooned in New Hampshire: I just have one question. Is Meryl Streep's daughter stalking him? Every time he has a pained conversation with Maggie, there's Meryl Jr., hovering three feet away with a "I Am Going To Complicate Your Life" sign flashing over her head. Is it time for Jim to take out a restraining order?
"The Newsroom" airs Sundays at 10 p.m. ET on HBO.
Selena Gomez opened up during her one-on-one interview with Ryan Seacrest. She talked specifically about her love life, which has seen her tied to some pretty prominent names in pop culture -- none bigger than pop superstar Justin Bieber.
“Are you with Justin or are you not with Justin?” asked Seacrest.
“No, I'm not," Gomez replied. When Seacrest asked her if she learned a lot by being in a serious relationship with such a high profile star at a young age, Gomez responded that she learned she should "definitely keep it way more private next time.”
She said that it was "stressful" when she and Bieber would be out together. Big egos and dishonesty turn her off. That's not to say that she doesn't still find herself drawn to celebrities. She admitted that Bradley Cooper and Logan Lerman ("The Perks of Being a Wallflower") are her current celebrity crushes. That said, she's happy being single for now.
When talking with InStyle magazine, Gomez again emphasized the importance of honesty in her relationships while discussing her breakup with Bieber. "It's uncomfortable that everywhere I go, people know," she told the magazine. "I don't like that ... You can't help who you date ... I'm a kid, and a breakup is normal. I have to go through the emotions and feel it out.”
It's a big week for Selena Gomez. Aside from this special, she celebrates her 21st birthday and the release of her album, "Stars Dance." She told Seacrest this would be her last album for a while, as she plans to shift her focus back to film work.
The Joes came to blows on "The Real Housewives of New Jersey." This isn't the first time Joe Giudice and Joe Gorga have fought -- on and off the cameras -- but this one got physical in a hurry. It all started while the Giudices, Gorgas, and Wakiles were together for a "team-building" retreat. Clearly the point of the retreat was lost on the Joes.
Joe Gorga called his sister, Teresa, scum. Of course, Joe Giudice jumped to his wife's defense, confronting her brother. This led Joe Gorga to ram himself into Joe Giudice. No slow build-up of tension for these guys. They've had years of tension and apparently keep themselves at just below the boiling point. The smallest infraction pushes them right over the edge.
Melissa tried to pull her husband off of Teresa's husband, while Teresa just ran away. But after the dust settled, it was Melissa who had no interest in trying to fix the dysfunction that has come to define their family.
“This is my family, too. Do you understand me? Those three babies are mine, too. I'm done!" she said. "They're not normal. Guess what, honey? Saddam Hussein, that's someone's brother, too. Doesn't mean that he's a good person. Let's go, Joe.”
HuffPost TV was a little confused by Melissa's meandering comment, writing, "That doesn't really make much sense to me -- if Teresa is Saddam Hussein, doesn't that make Joe the not-good person? -- but it did lead me to learn that ‘Saddam' means ‘one who confronts' in Arabic. Sort of fitting, no?”
Things stayed ugly within the family when Joe Gorga told the family's therapist that he had no interest in making up with his sister, Teresa. It was enough to bring Teresa to tears -- she's not ready to give up working on their family.
At least Teresa has The Stir on her side. They're worried that Melissa will be the biggest hurdle in the way Teresa and her brother repairing their relationship. "Hopefully Joe will be on high alert for evidence of all of her little antics designed to pull him and Teresa apart. Not that Tre is totally innocent either. She's going to have to distance herself from Kim D. and others who try to do the same.”
Can this fractured family ever come together in a healthy way? "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" continues on Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on Bravo.
Note: Do not read on if you have not yet seen Season 8, Episode 4 of Showtime's "Dexter," titled "Scar Tissue."
It doesn't get more bizarrely, out-of-nowhere-climactic than Deb grabbing the steering wheel of Dexter's car and driving into a lake.
The shocking moment was reminiscent of another crazy fourth episode of a Showtime drama: when Carrie went rogue on "Homeland," storming into Brody's hotel room and forcing the CIA to arrest him. Both felt like insane moments that wouldn't have been out of place in a season finale, giving the characters and action a jolt at the end of the season's first act.
Then again, some might see Deb driving into the lake as another example of "Dexter" jumping the shark. And let us know in the comments where you fall on that issue.
It would have been one thing if Deb went through with it. But in her latest display of conflicted decision-making, she saved him. Maybe this means they can forgive each other now and become the brother and sister accomplices they were meant to be.
Deb seems to have made her choice now, right? You've got to think that climactic, conflicted gesture was the last gasp of her frustrating cycle of guilt and self-destructive shame. Another crisis of conscience would just seem too ridiculous at this point.
Other thoughts from the episode:
What did you think of this episode? Leave your thoughts and theories in the comments.
"Dexter" airs Sunday nights at 9 p.m. ET on Showtime.
Note: Do not read on if you have not yet seen Season 5, Episode 8 of Bravo's "Real Housewives of New Jersey," titled "Scum One, Scum All."
We open where we left off last week, standing on the precipice of hell. Joe Gorga and Joe Giudice use their tiny mallet hands to pound each other into the tenderest Italian meat possible, while Teresa runs for help. Melissa screams manically, and then helps out by ensuring Joe's hair is never exposed to the elements. "I have 10 years of hate against this man. Any opportunity I have to go against him, it's on," Joe Gorga says with pure hate in his eyes. Teresa throws her weight against her husband, pushing him out the door. "For your kids! For your kids!" she repeats endlessly. Joe Giudice's face is bright red and his arms are streaked with something black; Teresa suggests that it's Melissa's makeup, but it could just be the afternoon's evil seeping into him.
Back in the event room, Melissa's running around like a chicken with its extensions all mussed up. She swigs the last of her drink and looks at her hands: The strange "black tar" is on everyone. I always thought white trash was just a nasty term, but it turns out they do actually leave a mark behind. I hope the hotel staff knows that whoever goes in that room next will end up pregnant in a wife beater with Cheeto stains.
We eventually find out that the black stuff was a hair spray Joe Gorga uses to make his strands look a bit thicker -- and suddenly, Melissa's intense desire to bring him his hat makes sense. Boyfriend is losing his mind AND his hair, and it's a whole lot easier to fix the latter.
"He's the c*** husband! He's all these things!" Melissa says from behind the hotel door. Inside, Joe and Melissa are out of breath, hurriedly packing and thrashing about. Joe's so mad that his anger can't be contained inside a mere mortal's shirt, so he remains nude from the waist up.
"They're not normal," Melissa rages. "Guess what, honey? Saddam Hussein, that's someone's brother too. Doesn't mean that he's a good person." That doesn't really make much sense to me -- if Teresa is Saddam Hussein, doesn't that make Joe the not-good person? -- but it did lead me to learn that "Saddam" means "one who confronts" in Arabic. Sort of fitting, no?
Over in Teresa's room, Joe recounts his version of the brawl. "I swear to God he was grabbing and biting my nuts," Joe says with a weird smile, like he's recalling his time with the human-squirrel fondly.
Now Melissa and Joe Gorga are sobbing in bed. Meanwhile, everyone else is sort of bored, so they decide it's a really ideal time for Teresa and her brother to make peace again. Rosie leads Teresa to her brother's room for a chat, but Melissa refuses to leave them alone. "Joe's always the rock, so when Joe turns weak, I need to become strong," Melissa says in her interview.
When your friends fail you and your husband tries to kill your brother, there's really only one thing to do: SPLISH SPLASH! A very nude Joe and Teresa climb in what I hope (for the tub's sake) is a massive bath, then proceed to call up some poor waiter for a bottle of champagne. They make no attempt to cover up as he enters -- I guess what's one more person when you've already got a camera crew standing a few inches away? -- and since he doesn't burst into gutteral screams, I assume he had a co-worker stationed outside with a pillow that was then used to muffle his sobs. The scene is akin to sexual waterboarding.
In her interview, Teresa explains: "My husband was defending my honor, so I'm going to give him a little brown-chicka-brown-chow." (I am pretty sure she means bow-chicka-bow-wow, but I'm not going to judge another woman's sexual preferences. I mean, besides how much I already judge her for choosing Joe.) She tries to follow this up with a wink, but that proves difficult. The end result is reminiscent of temporary Bell's palsy. If you think that sounds attractive, you should see Teresa try to pour some champs into Joe's mouth. "You're gonna get abused tonight. I'm gonna take your brother and abuse you for it," Joe says. I think that's some type of saucy talk for them, but everything I learned in high school health class taught me that normally you're supposed to call the police when you hear a man saying that to a woman.
The next morning, everyone tries different remedies for their rage hangovers. Joe Giudice says some crude stuff, Kathy and Rich have champagne ... and Teresa calls Caroline. My, how the thrown tables have turned.
She fills Caroline in on the fabulous situation and asks her to come join the retreat. "Teresa does not ask for help. For her to call me, it's heavy. It's bad. She's scared," Caroline says, trying to mask her joy at being needed. Then, she pretends like she hasn't had a small suitcase packed all along.
As Melissa and Joe Gorga get ready to face the day, they're still obsessing over how Teresa didn't help Melissa tear the men apart. "All she cares about is her next book deal," Joe says tersely. Still, they grappling with leaving, since officially cutting sibling ties would be like putting a pillow over their ailing dad's face, "Othello" style.
Next thing we know, Bravo's slipping in some nifty cross-promotion. The famed "Dr. V" everyone's been talking about is none other than Venus Nicolino from "LA Shrinks." "She came highly recommended by friends of mine who live in California," Teresa lies. Even if I hadn't watched the show, I'd know that was total bullshit ... after all, if nobody in your own bedazzled suburb can stand you, there's no way someone across the country will.
Dr. V's first words are that though she is blonde, she is Italian "where it matters -- my vagina!" I guess the drapes may not match the carpet, but both equally enjoy a nice lasagna. Teresa gets Dr. V and her green, white and red lady bits a cup of tea and brings her up to speed.
Finally, they all sit down at the table. When Dr. V meets Melissa, she brings up the stripper rumor. "That was the icing on the cake," Melissa explains. Then, the conversation flips to yesterday's fight, and Rich says it was all Teresa's fault. "Nothing's going to be solved if we think that one person is the problem," Dr. V says. She wants to skip the group therapy and talk to everyone mano y Italian vagina.
Joe Gorga goes first. He tells Dr. V that his sister is a fake, and explains that she is the definition of scum since she plants rumors that will hopefully result in his divorce. Dr. V explains that Teresa's issue may not be Melissa, but the fact that she doesn't trust Joe to make smart decisions. Though it makes sense, Joe's not willing to hear it -- and he admits he just wants out of this whole experience.
Dr. V grabs Teresa and brings her up to face her brother. Joe says he needs time and wants to walk away from this retreat, and Dr. V agrees. With that, the real therapist drives up: Caroline. Sure, she doesn't have a PhD in anything besides meddling, but when has that ever mattered?
Back in therapy, Dr. V takes out the most powerful weapon in her arsenal: her amazingly fast ability to make clients cry. "When you think about life, Teresa, without your mom and dad, what happens to you?" she asks. Joe admits that even seeing an older woman in the supermarket makes him ache for his mom. Now that Dr. V is seeing them interact, she changes her tune: Now, she wants Joe and Teresa to stay and talk without the influence of anyone else. "We both have families and we want to be together," Teresa says as her voice cracks. It seems she's alluding to how painful it is to realize that the happy upbringing they loved may not be something they can replicate with their own children.
Those words seems to be the magic bullet, and Joe's plastered heart cracks open. You can almost see all the hate burning off of his body, and all the deep, deep love spilling out it. Or maybe that's just the hair spray.
He grabs Teresa's face and kisses it voraciously, like a starving man finally being handed a steak. Sobs rack his body and suddenly he's heaving, totally giving himself over to the emotion and crying into her face and clothes and hair like a small child.
They're tangled up in a big salty mess of emotion, and suddenly, it's obvious that the path to forgiveness has never been paved with the "right" words or the perfect therapist. After all that time spent talking and talking and talking, it's time to not speak ... and to feel.
So yeah, the episode ended on a sort of nice moment. Still, if somewhere in a galaxy far, far away, aliens are discussing whether the human race is highly-evolved enough to share their knowledge, I pray that they have no access to "Real Housewives of New Jersey." If they do, let us hope they think it's a hilarious weekly version of April Fools, and not in any way a reflection of a typical Earthling's capacity for love and understanding.
"Real Housewives of New Jersey" airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on Bravo.
Former "Doctor Who" companion Karen Gillan made a big reveal at Comic-Con this weekend in San Diego: She's gone bald.
The actress, who's famous for playing the Doctor's companion Amy Pond on the BBC sci-fi series from 2010-2012, took the stage for Adult Swim's "NTSF:SD:SUV" panel, looking like her usual self with her signature red locks.
But during the panel, she whipped off what fans realized was a wig to reveal she buzzed off all her hair for her role in the 2014 Marvel movie "Guardians Of The Galaxy." Gillan went bald to play Nebula, an evil pirate who's trying to wipe out entire civilizations.
"It's liberating," she said once the jig was up. "I think everyone here should shave their heads."
Watch Gillan reveal her new bald look in the video below.
"Community" made its triumphant return to Comic-Con on Sunday afternoon in the San Diego convention center's largest venue, Hall H. The panel kicked off with a retrospective video comparing Dan Harmon's return as showrunner to the resurrection of the McRib, old Coke and Twinkies, followed by a "Star Wars"-esque title crawl featuring fan reactions from Twitter after "Community" was renewed for Season 5.
The "Community" Comic-Con panel featured stars Jim Rash, Yvette Nicole Brown, Alison Brie, Ken Jeong, Danny Pudi, Gillian Jacobs, executive producer Chris McKenna and Harmon. To introduce the panel, Harmon strolled out on stage in a cardboard Iron Man costume, which Rash and Pudi then dramatically removed.
Harmon was holding court with typical flair, introducing himself as a billionaire playboy and joking about ushering in a new era of quality TV with his return. "It's about legacy," he intoned. "It's about what we leave behind. It's about six seasons and a movie."
Harmon admitted that he does feel anxious about embarking on a new season of the show after a year away: "I feel a tremendous amount of pressure that will hopefully translate into [a good] show. I really have to make these 13 count. I don't consider them the last 13. I'm going to do everything I can to get that sixth season," he promised.
Harmon did have plans for Season 4 before being fired from the show, but admitted that for Season 5, "in an absolutely healthy way, [those plans] are out the window now." "We have to get back to the emotional basics and have the most fun we can have," he added.
In response to the comments he made about not exactly loving Season 4, Harmon apologized again to the Comic-Con crowd of "Community" fans: "I was talking about my own experience watching it and was talking about it in my own very petty, dirty world on my podcast ... I apologize to you guys who stood in line until four in the morning. if I hurt your feelings in any way with my comments ... A fan of 'Community' does not have to be a fan of Dan Harmon and vice versa. I'm a creepy jerk."
The biggest change for Harmon in approaching the new season stems from the writers' room. "We're breaking all the stories first so we know what we're doing in general for each episode," he said. "And we have a couple of blank slates in the schedule that say 'normal episodes.'"
Harmon promised that the first couple of episodes of Season 5 would be very character-based in order to reorient fans and reestablish the tone he set in Seasons 1-3.
Although the script for the premiere is not yet complete, one spoiler Harmon was willing to share was that the series would feature an animated episode. "I don't want to plan too hard. If I made mistakes in Season 3, it had a lot to do with over-planning, thinking about the finale during the filming of the premiere. We want to get back to the Season 1 and Season 2 feel and make it organic."
As for whether Harmon planned to "fix" the direction of the show after Season 4, he said he didn't feel it was necessary. "I'm going to follow the trajectory established by last season," he said.
The creator also said that while the show has a troubled past, its behind-the-scenes struggles ultimately make for good scripts and add another layer of poetic symmetry. "The harder it gets [in real life], the funnier the show gets -- the misfortune, the pain ... I get really excited about it, because stories within the show begin to resonate with stories about the show. Bring on the nut kicks!"
"Community" will return to NBC some time in 2014. The show begins its syndicated run on September 20, when it will air Fridays from 9-11 p.m. on Comedy Central, and five nights a week on local channels. Check CommunityOnTV.com to find out which network is airing the show in your area.
"Supernatural" is reportedly working on a spinoff.
According to reports out of Comic-Con, "Supernatural" executive producer Bob Singer said a backdoor pilot is being developed.
Robert Singer just mentioned a #Supernatural spin off coming from episode 20 written by Andrew Dabb -more urban than thebackroads.— heidi(8) (@travelingheidi) July 21, 2013
Request for comment and confirmation from Warner Bros. and The CW was not immediately returned.
TVLine reports the episode will introduce a new character who would then anchor the city-set spinoff, should it move forward.
"Supernatural" is entering its ninth season. The CW will launch its "Vampire Diaries" spinoff, "The Originals," this fall. The pilot for "The Originals" was also backdoor and aired as a "Vampire Diaries" episode.
"Supernatural" Season 9 premieres Tuesday, Oct. 15 at 9 p.m. ET on The CW.
The premiere of "America's Next Top Model: Guys and Girls" season is upon us and the first official photos of the 16 groundbreaking co-ed contestants are in!
The male and female models of "ANTM" Cycle 20 were revealed in February, but now, Alex, Bianca, Chlea, Chris H., Chris S., Cory, Don, Jeremy, Jiana, Jourdan, Bianca, Marvin, Mike, Nina, Philip and Renee all glammed up in leather, mesh, chains and more.
Click through the slideshow to meet the contestants of "ANTM: Guys and Girls" and get a sneak peek of them below.
The 20th cycle of "America's Next Top Model," "Guys and Girls" will have a two-hour premiere on The CW on Friday, August 2 at 8 p.m. ET.
The cast of "True Blood" descended on San Diego Comic-Con to preview the latter half of Season 6, and it looks like our favorite characters will be doing bad things with and to each other in equal measure.
First, the panel opened with an action-packed sizzle reel that featured Sookie and Warlow in Faery, with Sookie insisting that she doesn't want to be attracted to the half vamp/half fae. Another quick shot showed Warlow biting her and another shocking glimpse saw Sookie with blood smeared around her mouth -- could she be trading in her humanity once and for all? Check out the sizzle reel below and decide for yourself!
Cast members Anna Paquin (Sookie), Robert Kazinsky (Warlow), Michael McMillian (Steve), Anna Camp (Sarah), Joe Manganiello (Alcide), Kristin Bauer van Straten (Pam), Nelsan Ellis (Lafayette), Deborah Ann Woll (Jessica), Rutina Wesley (Tara), Sam Trammell (Sam), Ryan Kwanten (Jason) and executive producer Brian Buckner were on hand to discuss what's ahead, including a return to the show's Season 1 roots.
Sookie's Love Life
Paquin agreed that Sookie has had a tumultuous relationship with Bill (Stephen Moyer) -- noting, "One minute it's 'I love you,' then it's throwing plates at your head and 'you're dead to me' -- but declined to confirm or deny whether the troubled couple might reconcile. In the meantime, she has conflicting feelings about Warlow, who professes to have her best interests at heart but who also has a bloodthirsty vampire side at odds with his more gentle fae nature.
"There's a strong part of Sookie which is mistrustful of everyone at this point," Paquin noted of her character's relationship with Warlow. "So while she's developing feelings ... I think she's a little wary but also kind of drawn to him. Sookie does like handsome strangers ..."
Even Kazinsky admitted that Warlow can't be entirely trusted. "He's half fae, which is a creature of light, and half vampire, which is a creature of darkness -- it's a dichotomy, and you're going to see both sides come out." Which side is stronger? "It depends on the time of day and the body's need for blood," the British actor laughed. "You're going to see some gnarly stuff."
Mostly, Paquin is just pleased to see a stronger, more self-reliant Sookie this season. "She's not being anyone's doormat; she's sick of taking whatever from whoever ... She's been more independent and tough and it's been really nice to feel like she's finally learning from everything that's happened to her," she said.
New showrunner Brian Buckner promised a slightly different direction for the end of this season and beyond, admitting, "[We hope] you're gonna feel that the show is going to return back to its roots and it's going to be about this group of people living in Bon Temps ... we're going to condense the number of stories we're telling and make it feel like we're coming home."
He also dismissed the notion of adding more supernatural creatures in addition to the show's various vampires, werewolves, fae and shifters. "This show is ultimately about the relationship between vampires and humans and it's about this town, I want to bring it in a little bit, I feel like we've at times hurt ourselves ..." Buckner said. "My hope is to get all these people we love living under the umbrella of one story and one thread, and really make this show about this small town that we've come to know and love."
Pam vs. Eric
The last episode ended with Pam and Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) facing off in a supposed fight to the death inside the vamp camp, and Bauer van Straten refused to spoil how that fight ends. "When I saw that script come in and it ended there, I thought 'I don't know how to win this, against my daddy/maker/taller/stronger/older guy, but Pam is scrappy. The great thing about these writers is that they find so many layers of conflict."
We also haven't seen Pam's reaction to learning that she has another sister in Willa (Amelia Rose Blaire), the human that Eric recently turned to spite her father, Truman Burrell (Arliss Howard). "Pam doesn't share, she doesn't play well with others and she's never had to share Eric before," the actress observed. "We're going to find out about that fairly soon ... There's a very deep bond between Pam and Eric and it's going to be tested this year."
Alcide's Dark Side:
We've seen a different side of Alcide this season, and Manganiello admitted that he's struggled a little with the direction his character has taken in kidnapping Emma and bringing her back to the pack. "I don't like that everybody's upset at my character, but in my mind, I have to justify my character's actions ... I love the friendship between Sam and Alcide, but this little girl just lost both of her parents, and being a packmaster is a bit like being a mafia boss ... I have to do what the cops can't and I had to take her to live with her grandmother."
The star insisted that despite his actions, Alcide is still a good man. " I think it's all those crazy werewolf people that are driving him nuts. He's still a great, nice-hearted guy, he just has a crappy job ... being packmaster is a pretty thankless job, apart from the threeways."
Jason Goes Rambo
While Jason will be trying to save Jessica from the clutches of Truman Burrell's vamp camp, Kwanten said that his character's main intention is "trying to find out who killed his parents, that's obviously a noble quest. Jason started so low on the evolutionary totem pole, so he could only grow. This season in particular there's a lot more in store for Jason. He gets real crazy, real soon. He likes to think he's Rambo but fails miserably."
As for Jessica, Woll admitted that the young vampire will remain wracked with guilt for killing Andy Bellfleur's (Chris Bauer) fae daughters. "She's gonna have to pay dearly within her own heart for what happened," she said. "It's going to take her a long time to forgive herself for what happened, and we have Andy Bellfleur out there who is very upset with her."
The Many Loves Of Sam Merlotte
Sam moved on fairly quickly from the recently departed Luna (Janina Gavankar), but Trammell pointed out that it's only because "My girlfriends keep getting killed, I'm kind of a dangerous person to be involved in. It's a quick transition this year, but so much happens in every episode ... This new girl, Nicole [Jurnee Smollett-Bell] is very smart and wants to put all the supernatural creatures out there. We're sharing sorrow right now in the hotel."
"True Blood" airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on HBO.
Jason Ritter may no longer be a part of "Parenthood" -- for now -- but it looks like there's a new man in Sarah Braverman's (Lauren Graham) causing trouble for her and Hank Rizzoli (Ray Romano), who's back in the mix.
"Drop Dead Diva" alum Josh Stamberg has booked a recurring role on the NBC series, The Wrap reports. He will reportedly play Carl, who's described as "a charming and fun new addition in Sarah's building," in at least five episodes of "Parenthood" Season 5.
Romano closed a deal in June to return to the NBC drama for 12-15 episodes of Season 5 as Sarah's boss-turned-boyfriend Hank Rizzoli, Deadline reported.
In addition to Romano, "Parenthood" Season 5 will see the return of "Friday Night Lights" alum Matt Lauria as Ryan York, a soldier dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder who's currently romantically involved with Sarah's daughter Amber (Mae Whitman). He will likely appear in half of the season's episodes, according to TVLine.
Stamberg isn't the only newbie shaking things up for the Braverman clan. Julia (Erika Chirstensen) also has some competition: "Lost" alum Sonya Walger has her eye on Joel (Sam Jaeger) in Season 5. Walger has joined the NBC series as Meredith, a "sexy, confident fireball of an architect" working with Joel, TVLine reported. In the season premiere, Joel invites Meredith over for dinner, where she makes Julia -- who recently quit her job as a lawyer to be a stay-at-home-mom -- feel inferior and a little threatened.
"Parenthood" returns for Season 5 on Thursday, September 26 at 10 p.m. ET.