This video has all of the cringe and none of entertainment of the first Sienna ad. Four fucking years, and this is the best they could do. And I'm unemployed.
American Greetings—"Dad Life" (2011)
It has all of the cringe and none of the entertainment of the original video.
This took four years. And I'm unemployed.
American Greetings—"Dad Life" (2010)
The world's largest greeting card company (That's one of the Whitest phrases I've ever typed.) apparently scoped the success of the Toyota video, and dropped their own awful anthem less than two months later, pre-Father's Day. Theirs featured four Swagger Dads, including a black dad to mute racism criticism. Dockers® and St. John's Bay shirts and John Deere riding mowers and Roundup weed killer get shout-outs, though it's not clear if any of that was prearranged. Note the douchey bluetooth.
"I gotta clip for my piece..." (cellphone holder)
Cheerios and their digital ad agency Tribal Worldwide also certainly noticed the 12 million views the original Swagger Dad ad racked up. They smartly avoided the shitty studio rap track, but this dude is still just another Swagger Dad telling you #HowToDad—which includes eating and feeding your children bowl after motherfuckin' bowl of peanut butter Cheerios for "breakfast, lunch, dinner, and midnight snacks". #HowToAngioplasty
Health concerns aside, this ad was just merely bad and unoriginal, until, yep: had to throw in those slo-mo fake gang signs at the end...ahh YEAH.
What recent Dad Ad do I like?
This one, for Jell-O pudding, by cp+b.
It's real. Yo.
How great is this viral ad of a marmot licking a GoPro? Answer: Really great. Because Greenpeace turned it into an ad.Country:
Science World at Telus World of Science wants you to know that optimists are more healthy, even if they get a kick to the nuts. Apparently this was "banned," by Canadian television because they thought it was too violent. Or something.Country:
New York based content agency Plus collaborated with vintage fashion company Byronesque to create a short film featuring Yohji Yamamoto’s Bustle coat from his 1986 Fall collection.
Zebra Katz did the music for this lovely piece of eye candy.
This is very exciting-- it's Adland's first submission from Macedonia! And what a great one, too.
When our red-headed CEO and editor gets back online I need to have her update our countries list below.
This is a pretty cool looking stop-motion spot for the Mexican House of Representatives. Seeing as how I speak French not spanish, and Dabitch is Swedish...any Spanish speakers out there care to let us know what it says in English?
Directed by Tim K of Funny or Die’s commercial production division Gifted Youth, this spot for Skullcandy has Cleveland Cavaliers point guard Kyrie Irving talking about how important it is to push yourself. Push to be stronger, push to be faster.Country:
MikeHacks, like life hacks, shows you how to do something that supposedly makes life more convenient. In this case, it's putting your Mike's bottles on a floaty raft in your pool.Country:
In which a bro turns his bottles of Mike's Hard Lemonade into a Zamfir-style pan flute. Let's hope he didn't actually drink that many, as he'll be puking up lemony salt malt most of the morning.Country:
Continuing the theme of Life Hacks, Mike's Hard Lemonade's MikeHacks gets inventive by making a tiny hot-dog-for-one "Bitty-Q" out of an empty can. Maybe they'll show us how to make a bong, next.Country:
You've heard of Life Hacks, right? Well this campaign for Mike's Hard Lemonade reimagines that concept to suit its own needs. In this spot, we see a hipster dude wearing floods carrying his case of Mike's Hard Lemonade.Country:
In this spot for PUR, spokesman Arthur Tweetie, says goodbye to an old water filter and waxes poetic about it.Country:
Introducing PUR water filtration systems new spokesman, Arthur Tweetie. Who is a bit like a cross between a wacky character form a 1960's sitcom, and a less enraged Gary Oldman.
Arthur Tweetie is back, this time showing the ease of installation of a PUR faucet filter. The campaign is trying to make shouting "NO STARS" a thing, bless their hearts.Country:
Arthur Tweedie an ascot-mascot of sorts, demonstrates the difference between a PUR filter and other filters that rhyme with "itta."
ESPACE GO is a pretty cool contemporary theater in Montreal. It's upcoming series of showcases women. For the plays LUMIÈRES, LUMIÈRES, LUMIÈRES, UN SHOW NOMMÉ DÉSIR and LES DEUX VOYAGES DE SUZANNE W, they wanted to highlight the duality between two women, through the use of a Tête-bêche technique.Country:
The United Way in partnership with Ad Council and the NFL are working hard to reduce the onslaught of childhood obesity. This spot features Seattle Seahawk Russell Wilson, giving the kids some charming moral support.Country:
United Way, in collaboration with the Ad Council, and McCann and NFL have launched a new campaign touting the benefits of the United Way. The spot features Russell Wilson, who seems to be in every third spot these days.Country:
Finally, the constant joking that we needed an irony or satire tag in HTML has become a reality, as Facebook introduces the satire tag which will weed out the Onion posts from actual news so people can stop being confused by the web. My, when did we all become so gullable? Perhaps when they removed the word from the dictionary, to paraphrase an old joke.Adland:
My copy: "Get back in there pussy and pester that taller-than-you obvious model with the non-model rack. Fortune comes to those who FORCE THEMSELVES on women. (He comes back out, alone, five hours later and power barfs on the sidewalk.)
My copy: "Get in there and get tossed out on your ass, tosser. I've another Miller Fortune waiting to ease your pain. And then you can try again, Sisyphus. Why will I still be here? I just like creepily standing outside of bars and providing strangers with running commentary on their loser lives."
My copy:" What are you doing? Did you see that rack? Guzzle this, turn around, and go back in there and FORCE YOURSELF on her. Then, five hours from now, come out, alone, and power-barf on the sidewalk. I'll still be here, with another Miller Fortune and a bottle of Scope."
(Miller Fortune deleted this spot from their YouTube page, probably because some criticized it for telling men to be "ungentlemanly".)
My copy: 'I know what you're thinking: 'I'm gonna miss this tap-in on purpose, and she'll suck me so good, the sheets'll get stuck in my ass.' Don't do that. Slam it home, loudly, and scream YEAH! in her face. Then, run the next table, and the next and the next and the...well just fucking destroy her, and then give me a call..."
Bad Blowjob #4: Corona Light.
Here Corona and their agency, Goodby Silverstein and Partners, smash older, married Millennials in the face with a Stupid bat. This copy feels like it was written by the account supervisor, or even the Corona marketing director's wife. Oh! That ending twist joke! My SIDES!
Bad Blowjob #5: Garagista (South Africa).
Ahh. the old "For those who..." strategy. How do you get "hip" people to drink your beer in 2014? By making fun of "hipsters"—at least according to the Garagista Brewery and their Capetown ad agency FoxP2. But nobody is hipsters, everybody is hipsters, now. These people are just idiots, especially this chick. Don't you feel superior looking at these idiots? Shit, I'm getting such a confidence boost reading these ads, I think I'll dust off my chrome Slingerlands and start up a NYC post-post-post-punk band. Call ourselves the Mad Men. Dress like Draper, get sued by AMC. Get famous.
(click image to enlarge)I'd actually like to to hear this gentlemen play his banjo. I bet he's pretty good. And come on: that font screams "drink me, hipster!".
(click image to enlarge)I honestly cannot pick which one of these headlines is the worst. It's a dead heat at the Shit-Awful finish line.
Bad Blowjob #6: Miller Lite.
Lastly, there's the "Man Up" Miller Lite campaign from a couple of years ago. The blowjob target here: Bro-lennials. But not just any Bro-lennials, specifically the homophobic, unironic fist-bump-explosion, brain-dead Bro-lennials. This, seriously, may have been the dumbest alcohol campaign in the history of fermentation/distillation. ____________________
ADDENDUM:There is, in fact, one very good beer campaign out there right now. It's the Newcastle "No Bollocks" effort. Excellent branding. Agency: Droga5, NYC. And no: Dos Equis's "Most Interesting Man in the World" is not a great beer campaign. It's merely a decent campaign. Sorry.
I'm thinking, maybe? the problem here with these bad beer ads is that Millennials, the new "creative class", are the ones creating them. And, they—somehow—think they're good? Discuss.